Low self esteem has become one of the main problems for many people in the last few decades, which was mainly fuelled by socially adopted standards of what is acceptable and what isn’t. In today’s world, in order to be “accepted”, we have to become “someone” in order to get recognition from wider society and in most cases – it’s socially acceptable standings that come either with education, intellectual, athletic and/or business/career achievements or mixture of all of them together.
The most common denominator for success nowadays is material status measured by money. Naturally, this is pure generalisation, but in essence everything we do in our lives is to some degree related to money or amassing other material assets that have good monetary potential. The second social denominator of almost equal importance is education and social standings expressed in the type of work we do. Almost everyone gets measured by the type of work we do and the money we earn as a compensation for that work.
This model of the society possibly works well for some people, but what about those who do not share these values and have different interests in their lives, which are not measured by socially acceptable standings and money. Where do these people fall in their social rankings and how does this unilateral approach affect their mental health? The answer to this question can be as wide as the question in itself, because it is difficult to measure effects of what potential social inadequacy may cause for each individual. However as it stands, nowadays more than ever, we are witnessing that more and more people are silently suffering from devastating effects of low self esteem. It is clearly visible that people in general are more comfortable communicating with others via their electronic devices, instead of making an effort to communicate directly. Also, individual levels of social tolerance are declining and people in general exhibit much lower levels of social acceptance toward others, than it was the case in the past. This is directly affecting intimate, family, social and professional relationships at all levels. Some of this this has nothing to do with low self esteem, but in essence it might contribute toward its creation.
So what in general is causing low self esteem? There are many things and they are all equally important, but in here we’ll list only the ones that we deem relevant:
- Difficult childhood marred with great expectations, criticisms and total lack of tolerance and understanding of failures that are necessary for mastering various skills in life.
- As such, disapproval from authority figures and parents or guardians.
- Emotionally distant parents.
- Sexual, physical or emotional abuse in childhood.
- Bullying with no parent or peer protection.
- Social beauty standards
- Academic difficulties
- Excessive stress that comes with constant non constructive criticism and so on…
But what is important to note is that the root causes of low self esteem are embedded from our early age and as we grow older, those roots are getting longer and stronger with constant repetition of same or similar events in our lives.
So what do we need to do? The most important part in healing this condition is to become aware that you are suffering from this condition. The second most important thing is to make decision that you no longer want to experience thoughts and emotions of low self esteem and feeling insecure. At this point, you need to learn techniques that will help you completely relax your mind and body. It doesn’t matter what techniques you use for as long as you’re able to completely relax your body/mind at will, because in those moments you will be able to notice thoughts that precede your emotions that feed your low esteem and personal insecurity. This will allow you to control your predominant mental activities and the more you become aware of different states of being and in particular those that are providing you with complete mental calmness – the more you will be able to detect non wanted thoughts and emotions.
When you manage to control your own physical levels of tension/relaxation and your brain’s activity, you will then be able to identify positive sides that you will need to cultivate in order to eventually replace your old feelings of low self esteem and insecurity. Some of these things may be:
- Recognising what you’re good at. We’re all good at something, no matter what it is and the fact that you can identify what you’re good at and that you like to do it, no matter what – represents the great starting point toward creation of new you.
- Learn to become kind to yourself and above all, become more accepting and understanding towards your own needs and aspirations, as oppose to always finding faults and self criticism.
- Learn to be assertive.
- In that way, choose to say NO in situations which require you to do so.
- Surround yourself with people who will help you become more confident and self accepting.
All above are only possible to implement when you strictly adhere to the whole process, because if you only attempt to start working on your mental conditioning without working on your mind/body relaxation – you will not go very far. The main reason is that there is no change without first acknowledging the need for one and then doing everything possible to diminish triggers and memories that support those mental states that you wish to eliminate, before replacing them with the new and wanted ones. All this requires time and structured approach in identifying root causes of your condition and then systematically and carefully working on neutralising symptoms that have led to their creation. The next step is to identify your strengths and focus on things that you’re good at and which make you feel good at all times. When you put all these things together, over time you will build totally new self perception that will mightily contribute toward your new and positive perception of oneself. This process is commonly known as “self empowerment” and can be highly rewarding when done properly.
If you wish to learn more on how to effectively control your mental states, inclusive of low self esteem and feelings of insecurity, please visit our website www.energy-savvy.com for more information on our 20 weeks comprehensive programme that will help you make some deep and profound changes in your life. Alternatively, you may contact us on: info@energy-savvy.com and we’ll be more than happy to help you in any way we can.
